{"id":25010,"date":"2023-08-07T09:32:56","date_gmt":"2023-08-07T09:32:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/test11.f5test.in.ua\/personal-stories\/post-soccer\/"},"modified":"2024-09-17T15:37:49","modified_gmt":"2024-09-17T15:37:49","slug":"post-soccer","status":"publish","type":"stories","link":"https:\/\/concussionandcte.org\/en-ca\/personal-stories\/inspiring-stories\/post-soccer\/","title":{"rendered":"Post-soccer: Acknowledge losses, embrace changes"},"content":{"rendered":"

Posted: May 31, 2016\u00a0| Written winter of 2015-16 during Esther’s medical leave<\/strong><\/p>\n

Post-Concussion Syndrome (PCS)<\/a>\u00a0presents a variety of symptoms which are invisible to others and often ignored or misunderstood. I have often felt that I\u2019ve been lying to myself and to everyone for the past three years about my\u00a0concussions<\/a>. I have tried to conceal symptoms because I felt that an athlete is supposed to take hits and be fine\u2014you are expected to push through injuries.<\/p>\n

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The truth is, I\u2019m not fine. I have had daily chronic headaches, sometimes so severe I vomit; I feel dizzy when I stand up or turn around quickly; sometimes my vision blurs and I struggle to see the classrooms\u2019 whiteboards; and despite my pre-concussion razor-sharp memory, I now sometimes struggle to remember the name of the main character in a book I just read.\u00a0These things are not normal without a concussion, and it\u2019s ok to acknowledge that.<\/p>\n

There have been so many times that having PCS has embarrassed me. Over Christmas, I went to a party with family friends whom I had known since I was very young. \u00a0These were people who care about me, yet I was so anxious going in there because I didn\u2019t want to tell them that I had to take a medical leave from school. \u00a0At the party, I avoided eye contact and talked to as few people as possible, which is very unlike me. \u00a0I was worried that even these friends wouldn\u2019t understand and would think that I wasn\u2019t strong or driven enough to continue. \u00a0I was even worried about telling some of my extended family. \u00a0Several of my cousins had graduated from the same high school and I felt awkward having to admit that I had to defer my junior year to recover, though it was certainly no fault of my own.<\/p>\n

Nobody should be embarrassed about having PCS. You didn\u2019t ask for this injury, and PCS is a very real condition that is difficult to deal with. \u00a0If you\u2019re trying your best, that is all you can do and all anyone can ask of you.\u00a0You should be able to talk about it.<\/p>\n

I never liked to talk with most people about my lingering concussion symptoms. I didn\u2019t want to look weak or feel like a victim. Even though I was coping pretty effectively with the injury, and still performing well in school, I feared that if I shared my symptoms, they would make me look subpar.<\/p>\n

The main reason that I kept silent was that I worried that people wouldn\u2019t understand.\u00a0I definitely get weird looks, disbelief, and a lot of questions when I have to tell someone that I\u2019m still suffering with concussion symptoms after three years. Even a sports trainer who should be informed about PCS said in front of teammates that I didn\u2019t have a concussion when I had been suffering with PCS for two years. That is tough to deal with when you are already self-conscious about being concussed. All in all, I often felt it was better to not give anyone a chance to say something hurtful.<\/p>\n

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In retrospect, it is better to never stop talking about it. What you are dealing with is probably one of the hardest things you\u2019ve gone through, more than most kids your age have had to endure, and you deserve to talk about it.<\/p>\n

If someone doesn\u2019t understand your suffering, don\u2019t feel bad and get filled with self-doubt, but educate him or her.\u00a0Tell them about PCS and your experiences and inform them about the medical evidence if they question. For every few people who roll their eyes or ask you if you\u2019re \u201cmilking it,\u201d there will be a true friend who cares and tells you that you\u2019re strong and that you are doing a fantastic job coping. Those are the people you keep in your corner. I regret not standing up to more people when they questioned my injury.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a balance between acknowledging that you have PCS and that it is hard, but not letting it consume you and your life.<\/p>\n

I definitely had trouble with the acknowledging part. My mentality was to just keep on going, and not to dwell on what I had lost and how PCS was affecting me daily. After a while, the symptoms just become normal. When I eventually had to take a medical leave from school after my second concussion, and there was no more pretending that nothing was wrong, the years of symptoms and losses hit me so hard. \u00a0All of the emotions of having to leave my school community, my friends, my great teachers, my beloved extracurriculars plus two and a half years of pent up frustration and losses hit me all at once.<\/p>\n

I encourage you to keep checking in with yourself. Ask yourself how you\u2019re really doing and give yourself an honest answer\u2014don\u2019t push those questions away to save for later. Find those good, supportive friends or family members and keep talking to them. \u00a0Be honest with them as well. \u00a0I have found that talking about it with others is often the most therapeutic and you shouldn\u2019t have to go through this alone.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s ok to not be ok.\u00a0It\u2019s ok to ask for help. Always keep fighting, but it\u2019s about the big picture, not each little battle. If you can\u2019t do a homework assignment, don\u2019t stay up late with an excruciating headache to try and finish because you aren\u2019t getting anything out of it and you\u2019re hurting yourself.\u00a0Give yourself a break and go to bed. \u00a0Your teacher will understand. Look at your recovery in its entirety and be happy with how far you\u2019ve come and how much you\u2019ve achieved.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get hung up on all of the losses, but allow yourself to acknowledge all that you have been through. Only then can you truly move on.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Posted: May 31, 2016\u00a0| Written winter of 2015-16 during Esther’s medical leave Post-Concussion Syndrome (PCS)\u00a0presents a variety of symptoms which are invisible to others and often ignored or misunderstood. I have often felt that I\u2019ve been lying to myself and to everyone for the past three years about my\u00a0concussions. I have tried to conceal symptoms […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false},"inspiring-stories":[11],"legacy-stories":[],"class_list":["post-25010","stories","type-stories","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","inspiring-stories-pcs"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nPost-soccer: Acknowledge losses, embrace changes - Concussion Legacy Foundation<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/concussionandcte.org\/en-ca\/personal-stories\/inspiring-stories\/post-soccer\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Post-soccer: Acknowledge losses, embrace changes - Concussion Legacy Foundation\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Posted: May 31, 2016\u00a0| Written winter of 2015-16 during Esther’s medical leave Post-Concussion Syndrome (PCS)\u00a0presents a variety of symptoms which are invisible to others and often ignored or misunderstood. 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