{"id":24973,"date":"2024-02-18T10:09:03","date_gmt":"2024-02-18T10:09:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/test11.f5test.in.ua\/personal-stories\/my-head-hurts\/"},"modified":"2024-09-17T14:31:25","modified_gmt":"2024-09-17T14:31:25","slug":"my-head-hurts","status":"publish","type":"stories","link":"https:\/\/concussionandcte.org\/en-ca\/personal-stories\/inspiring-stories\/my-head-hurts\/","title":{"rendered":"My Head Hurts: B.J. Catalon’s Story"},"content":{"rendered":"

Posted: April 6, 2018<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I smile a lot, but I\u2019m afraid. I laugh but I\u2019m terrified, I can\u2019t differ the truth from all the lies. To chase a dream, where you hear the fans scream, stands filled with jerseys of ya damn team. A man\u2019s game, a man\u2019s pain, sacrifice my all, why should I feel this shame? War scene, you\u2019re a friend to me battling against our enemy, armor shield body guard, but my head is losing memory.<\/p>\n

Never forget the memories of this wonderful sport, even if I\u2019m older and all out of sort, inches away but came up short. What\u2019s going on inside my head? Who are the voices I hear? I try to imagine but the images disappear. Search through iCloud, but nothing\u2019s quite clear, is this something for me to fear? Don\u2019t complain \u2018cause men are tough, life is hard, the game is rough, the crazy thoughts, my brain is stuffed, is this God\u2019s Plan, I need an angel\u2019s touch, left behind, I was just angel’s dust.<\/p>\n

This must be a mistake, I was meant to be great, losing my balance due to this shifted weight, stumble sometimes and can\u2019t walk straight. Even though it\u2019s for protection, my mind is like a weapon, I believe my whole life that this was my blessing; so why the rejection or the feelings of severe despondency and dejection. In other words it\u2019s depressin\u2019, to play the game my whole life and finally get taught the lesson. Not afraid to fail, not afraid to lose, didn\u2019t know the scars would still bruise. I smile, inside me is still that little child, whose joy I haven\u2019t felt in a while.<\/p>\n

Round and Round, my head pounds the sound, of my heartbreak as my head mounds the ground. Telling me I\u2019m up next and couldn\u2019t be more closer, Doctors visit just to tell me that it\u2019s over, tried to cry but I was given no shoulder, missing old days cause I hate getting older. I smile a lot, but I\u2019m afraid. I laugh but I\u2019m terrified, it\u2019s something going on with what\u2019s between my eyes.<\/p>\n

\n
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\"\"<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Concussions cut Benjamin “BJ” Catalon’s football career short. Now he’s sharing his story through poetry.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false},"inspiring-stories":[12],"legacy-stories":[],"class_list":["post-24973","stories","type-stories","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","inspiring-stories-concussion-awareness"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nMy Head Hurts: B.J. Catalon's Story - Concussion Legacy Foundation<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/concussionandcte.org\/en-ca\/personal-stories\/inspiring-stories\/my-head-hurts\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"My Head Hurts: B.J. 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