{"id":24932,"date":"2024-03-12T15:44:29","date_gmt":"2024-03-12T15:44:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/test11.f5test.in.ua\/personal-stories\/punches-poems-alan-blyweiss-story\/"},"modified":"2024-09-17T13:18:58","modified_gmt":"2024-09-17T13:18:58","slug":"punches-poems-alan-blyweiss-story","status":"publish","type":"stories","link":"https:\/\/concussionandcte.org\/en-ca\/personal-stories\/inspiring-stories\/punches-poems-alan-blyweiss-story\/","title":{"rendered":"From Punches to Poems: Alan Blyweiss&#8217; Story"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class='content-img-wrap'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-13223\" src=\"https:\/\/concussionandcte.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/Alan-Blyweiss-and-Wife.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/concussionandcte.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/Alan-Blyweiss-and-Wife.jpg 500w, https:\/\/concussionandcte.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/Alan-Blyweiss-and-Wife-300x180.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>Posted: May 11, 2020<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Alan Blyweiss started boxing in 1976 as a seven-year-old in the Baltimore\/D.C. area. He was 88-12 as an amateur. His amateur career included a fight against former heavyweight champ Tommy Morrison to a four-round loss that turned into a blood bath. Growing up where he did, he was able to spar up-and-comers like Hasim Rahman, Riddick Bowe, and Mike Tyson. At 20-years-old, he was told he shouldn\u2019t box anymore due to a spinal disc fusion. His professional career was over after just two fights. Nicknamed \u201cThe Rock,\u201d Blyweiss became a sparring partner for some of the biggest names in boxing like Vincent Bolware, Lennox Lewis, Terry Ray, and Larry Holmes. Without much of an education, Blyweiss felt his only means were to be the punching bags for some of the most powerful punchers in the world.<\/p>\n<p class='content-img-wrap'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-13228\" src=\"https:\/\/concussionandcte.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/Blyweiss-and-daughter.jpg.webp\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"800\" srcset=\"https:\/\/concussionandcte.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/Blyweiss-and-daughter.jpg.webp 450w, https:\/\/concussionandcte.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/Blyweiss-and-daughter.jpg-169x300.webp 169w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>A life in boxing left a toll on Blyweiss\u2019 body and brain. He has had his spine caged, complete elbow reconstruction on his left arm, Tommy John on his right elbow, numerous hand surgeries, broken noses, and procedures to remove cartilage. He also sustained numerous concussions and blackouts in sparring sessions.<\/p>\n<p>Blyweiss felt for a long time that something was wrong with his brain. He exhibited behaviors and personality changes that alarmed his wife and children. He lost control of his inhibitions, suffered from confusion, had bouts of rage, and severely lowered executive functioning abilities. Doctor after doctor couldn\u2019t give him an answer for his issues until a 2017 visit to Johns Hopkins University. There, doctors told Alan they suspect he lives with what was used to be called \u201cpunch drunk\u201d syndrome, and what we now know as Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE).<\/p>\n<p class='content-img-wrap'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-13233\" src=\"https:\/\/concussionandcte.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/Blyweiss-Family.jpg.webp\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https:\/\/concussionandcte.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/Blyweiss-Family.jpg.webp 800w, https:\/\/concussionandcte.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/Blyweiss-Family.jpg-300x169.webp 300w, https:\/\/concussionandcte.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/Blyweiss-Family.jpg-768x432.webp 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Living with suspected CTE has placed a tremendous burden on Blyweiss\u2019 family. His wife had previous experience as a caregiver for dementia patients and now supports Blyweiss in his daily bout against the symptoms of the degenerative brain disease. Despite everything, Blyweiss\u2019 fighting instinct still persists. To combat his suspected CTE, Blyweiss turned to poetry.<\/p>\n<p>He writes whenever inspiration strikes with the purpose of compiling a set of poems to share with other patients and families affected by CTE.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere is no schedule with my disease,\u201d Blyweiss said. \u201cEvery day is a new adventure. But I\u2019ll keep on trying and never give up.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>See below for a collection of Alan Blyweiss\u2019 many poems. You can connect with him at\u00a0<a href=\"mailto:ablyweiss@gmail.com\">ablyweiss@gmail.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>CTE Warriors<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Man hands hurt so bad from all the years of fighting, have to get through it so I can keep writing.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>This disease that has no clock, not knowing when to tick or to tock.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>We can not express our pain or feelings through a normal voice, our bad language comes out it was not our choice.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Our paranoia and depression can get very insane, to be sitting around hearing people calling our name.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I will be using my time to continue to rhyme, because this disease will rob us of time.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>But if you don\u2019t like something you hear, just remember your not in the shoes that we wear and we really don\u2019t care.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>These words our for my brothers and sisters fighting this disease, because if you&#8217;re the patient or the caregivers this will drop us to our knees.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>But for the time I can still create a voice for us, then it will be me to steer this bus.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>So if you read these poems and it helps in some small way than I did something to help CTE warriors today.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>The Rock<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>I once was The Rock, our family power. That was before my brain began to turn sour.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I was a husband and dad, that made it all great. Now every day I have to start with a clean slate.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>The things I say and the things I do, often to get a reaction from you&#8230;.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I go for the jugular, knock you out at the knees, the words that I say only come from CTE.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Now I can\u2019t make decisions or take care of the money, the things happening so quick it\u2019s not even funny.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I put my words down, while I can understand, these words come from my brain, right into my hand.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>My hands now express the thoughts and feelings we all go through, where this will lead us, we haven\u2019t a clue.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>This disease has no cure, but one thing I can say for sure, with the things that we go through in a day, and still can\u2019t find our way.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>To be caught between the stage truth or fiction, causes my brain causes so much friction. So for my warriors without a voice- keep battling the demon like you have no choice.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>We may not win this fight, but I\u2019m fighting for the future CTE-ers that just might.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Don\u2019t Give Up On Us<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Please don\u2019t give up on us for we know not what we say, please don\u2019t give up, we will forget by the end of the day.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Please don\u2019t give up on us, we know not what we do, please don\u2019t give up , we are just as scared too.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Please don\u2019t give up on us, are care is so tough, please don\u2019t give up, no matter how rough.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Please don\u2019t give up on us, CTE is a disease, please don\u2019t give up, till the beast is on its knees.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>My CTE Day<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>I have a few ideas what I\u2019d like to get done for the day, give it 20 minutes and I forget it anyway.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Pressure in the eyeballs feeling like they want to pop, nothing can help nothing can make it stop.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Then the ocean sounds I have in one ear, the buzz in the other sounds so clear.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I get mean in my mind when I\u2019m in noisy places, wanted to make the noise stop by smashing people\u2019s faces.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Then the paranoias that I go through in a night, hearing the voices then throwing punches like I\u2019m in a fight.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>My wife has to wake me because I\u2019m punching my face, I see her fear and I\u2019m not in the right place. I can\u2019t say words nothing coming out the fear so deep but I cannot shout.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Caring for us<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Caring for us is challenging, stressful and comes with no reward. It\u2019s our actions and words that strike at your chord.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>We behave and believe things that we never have before, our feelings are slipping, our tears are no more, being depressed feeling like we\u2019re under the floor<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Our caregivers need a break, but nobody wants to help, can\u2019t find caregivers who understand CTE on Yelp. Not a friend nor a family member, nobody in sight. To get anybody to help is always a fight<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>We are so mean and hurtful like a devil towards you, but if other people were around, they would think it\u2019s crazy, has to be you! But what they don\u2019t know behind a closed door, we treat you worse because we love you more<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>It\u2019s our caretakers that take such a strained assault , but to live like we do is nobody\u2019s fault , so don\u2019t be mad at we say or don\u2019t do, because it\u2019s the disease that\u2019s stopped loving you.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>If<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>If I am trying to do something you don\u2019t understand, don\u2019t try to stop me lend me a hand.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>If I\u2019m speaking and have some troubles, please don\u2019t correct me it just bursts my bubbles.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Please don\u2019t tell me how great I look. If you only knew the pain I\u2019m in, I could write a book.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>If I just blast out with a very inappropriate comment, just shake it off and live in the moment.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>If I\u2019m looking confused, there\u2019s nothing you can do. But when I am amused, there is no worry of a fuse.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>So being stuck between understanding my fate at one minute of the day, then in the next seconds I can\u2019t remember what to say.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Now as I really am seeing the reactions from my wife and see her fear, it\u2019s only making one thing clear, that if I don\u2019t fight harder my ending is near.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Former boxer Alan Blyweiss lives with probable CTE. He&#8217;s turned to poetry to give a creative voice to his struggles.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false},"inspiring-stories":[10],"legacy-stories":[],"class_list":["post-24932","stories","type-stories","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","inspiring-stories-cte"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>From Punches to Poems: Alan Blyweiss&#039; Story - Concussion Legacy Foundation<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/concussionandcte.org\/en-ca\/personal-stories\/inspiring-stories\/punches-poems-alan-blyweiss-story\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"From Punches to Poems: Alan Blyweiss&#039; Story - Concussion Legacy Foundation\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Former boxer Alan Blyweiss lives with probable CTE. 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