{"id":24927,"date":"2024-02-12T10:28:26","date_gmt":"2024-02-12T10:28:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/test11.f5test.in.ua\/personal-stories\/football-changed-my-life\/"},"modified":"2024-09-17T13:12:18","modified_gmt":"2024-09-17T13:12:18","slug":"football-changed-my-life","status":"publish","type":"stories","link":"https:\/\/concussionandcte.org\/en-ca\/personal-stories\/inspiring-stories\/football-changed-my-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Football Changed My Life: Adrian Arrington’s Story"},"content":{"rendered":"

Posted: November 20, 2017<\/strong><\/p>\n

As a kid I grew up in a small town of 2,000 black people in Shaw, Mississippi. I appreciate my hometown because it’s where I learned about how to get through struggles and how to work hard, but there was no diversity and there were few job opportunities. Then my family moved, and I discovered football. I started playing at the age of 10 when I first moved from Mississippi to Bloomington, Illinois. I saw that they had Junior Football League, and I was in awe because we didn\u2019t have those programs when I was growing up. Football gave me a chance to see the world, to dream about seeing something different outside of Shaw. I saw that it gave me an opportunity to stay out of trouble and gave me an incentive to want to do something in life. Football gave me hope.<\/p>\n

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But I want people, both players and fans, to understand that this is a game. People say so many negative things about the players who are struggling. It hurts my heart to hear, \u201cThey knew what they were getting into. They knew what was going to happen.\u201d That\u2019s hard to deal with when the doctor tells you that your seizures are so severe that you may die at any time.<\/p>\n

I love football, but we are not prepared enough to handle the risks that come with playing the game. My goal growing up was to use football to get out of poverty, to stay out of the homeless shelter, and to provide something different for my kids. To be in the situation I am in now\u2014it hurts.<\/strong><\/p>\n

My\u00a0concussions<\/a>\u00a0were recognizable, but I wasn’t aware of or able to remember most of them. The concussions came from big collisions when I played strong safety in college. It was a hard-hitting position and there were times I\u2019d be knocked unconscious. Usually I\u2019d be told about them later by teammates or friends. I\u2019d also be told that I was placed back into that same game a few plays afterwards. This happened a few times. After a while, a teammate saw that I was having seizures and\u00a0reported it to the team<\/a>, but I was never told this may be serious or that I shouldn’t play anymore.<\/p>\n

The consequences of the trauma started to show back in 2009, and they\u2019ve continued up until now. There are blackouts. Memory loss. Seizures.<\/p>\n

I wake up every day wondering if I\u2019m going to have a seizure. On days that I have one, I\u2019m unable to do anything. Being a former student athlete, I\u2019ve felt fatigue, but never the type of fatigue that I have after a seizure. Every muscle in your body hurts. You\u2019re in a bed for a full day.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I wake up with my friends or my kids standing over me, crying, because I had a grand mal seizure. Or I\u2019ll have seizures where I\u2019m just standing there staring off into space. People wonder what\u2019s going on with me. Sometimes they think I\u2019m being a jerk when I can\u2019t concentrate on anything except the pain in my head.<\/p>\n

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I usually have at least two or three seizures a week. Some weeks I\u2019m lucky and I\u2019ll have one, but a seizure-free week is rare. I take medications that slow down my seizures and make them less frequent, but they\u2019ve never stopped. I\u2019ve never had anything that stopped my migraine headaches. Some days I can\u2019t handle it. It\u2019s just mentally frustrating to try get through everything and not be understood.<\/p>\n

Doctors don\u2019t want me to be alone with my kids. They don\u2019t want me to drive. They don\u2019t want me to work, but social security doesn\u2019t provide much for our family.<\/p>\n

As someone who has pride in his work ethic and wanted to finish school and start a business, it\u2019s hard for me to go through everyday life knowing the doctor has told me I can\u2019t work. I struggled with finishing school due to my brain injury.<\/p>\n

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I don\u2019t want to be on disability. I don\u2019t want government assistance. But this is the reality of what I go through because the doctor is telling me I can\u2019t work. If I sneak off and get a job to try to work to pay a bill, they would take the benefit. And if I end up having a seizure I risk losing that job because I have to sit at home for days or be in the emergency room to recover.<\/p>\n

My family knows I\u2019m worried, stressed, and battling depression because I don\u2019t know how to provide for my kids, or what\u2019s going to happen if I die. Is social security going take care of my kids? Am I going to die in front of my kids? What consumes me is the pain of figuring out everyday life.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

When it comes to my family, I\u2019m amazed at the support system that I have. There are situations where guys have committed suicide with their family not being aware of what they\u2019re really going through, and it\u2019s hard for them to get through that. I know my family sees that I\u2019m struggling through pain and these seizures and my depression. It\u2019s really important for them to recognize. But it\u2019s still a huge struggle for us.<\/p>\n

When we were in college, I ran away from my wife because I was so embarrassed by the fact that I had seizures, that I had to drop out of school, that I had memory loss, that there were times when I would use the bathroom and I would pee on myself, or throw up from my headaches. I didn\u2019t want her to see me as a weak man. But we fought through it over the last seven years and she stood by my side.<\/p>\n

\n
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<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

My family is what brings me joy\u2014my stepson Isaiah, my nephew Kendrick, and knowing I\u2019m coming home to three little girls, my daughters, Andria, Ayana, and Nina. I know that if I\u2019m going through anything, they\u2019re worried about \u201cDaddy did you have a seizure? Are you ok? Do you need some pain medicine?\u201d And when Nina gets picked up for daycare because they don\u2019t want me to be alone with her, Nina just runs in the house straight to me saying \u201cDaddy, Daddy, Daddy.\u201d Those moments are my world, my motivation.<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/div>\n
\n

 <\/p>\n

I went into motivational speaking because I wanted to reach at-risk youth and kids who grew up in situations like I did. I grew up in a poor, rural community and spent a year and a half in a homeless shelter when my family fell on hard times. But I made it out by working hard at something I loved to earn a college scholarship. I wanted to be able to mentor kids about mental toughness and how to get through things. About taking your health seriously and about taking your life seriously. But life didn\u2019t turn out as the dream I wanted it to.<\/p>\n

For people who are struggling with these things and for families who have lost their loved one to the struggle with depression, I understand how hard it is for you. I love everybody that is out here fighting and who\u2019s out here on the forefront of the situation with concussions and mental health.<\/p>\n

I struggle, but every day I wake up happy about being able to see my kids, happy about trying to be a motivational speaker or getting my own community center. I\u2019m a survivor, and I hope my story can help others who may be battling with the same issues.<\/p>\n

If you want to reach me, send a message to\u00a0deontearrington@gmail.com<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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