{"id":24906,"date":"2023-08-07T09:25:47","date_gmt":"2023-08-07T09:25:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/test11.f5test.in.ua\/personal-stories\/my-story-my-legacy\/"},"modified":"2024-09-17T12:26:32","modified_gmt":"2024-09-17T12:26:32","slug":"my-story-my-legacy","status":"publish","type":"stories","link":"https:\/\/concussionandcte.org\/en-ca\/personal-stories\/inspiring-stories\/esther-lovett-pcs-blog\/my-story-my-legacy\/","title":{"rendered":"Esther Lovett: My Story and My Legacy"},"content":{"rendered":"

Posted: April 25, 2016\u00a0| Written winter of 2015-16 during Esther’s medical leave<\/strong><\/p>\n

I suffered my first serious concussion in eighth grade. I struggled with Post-Concussion Syndrome (PCS) for about two and a half years and then suffered another serious concussion right before my junior year of high school.<\/p>\n

Before my concussion in eighth grade, I played soccer, hockey, and tennis, I was a dedicated student, and life was good.\u00a0I experienced the concussion during a soccer game, and did not know enough to take myself out of the game despite dizziness, nausea, blurry vision, and confusion. It took me a long time to realize that this was serious.\u00a0I had no idea that this seemingly harmless hit would turn my life upside down.<\/p>\n

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Initially, all I wanted to do was play soccer.\u00a0I wanted to get back to my team and continue playing, but this concussion was something that I could not hide. For the rest of eighth grade, a little over a month, I don\u2019t think I was able to sit through a full class.\u00a0I spent so much time in the nurse\u2019s office drinking ginger ale and eating saltines.<\/p>\n

It was bizarre to be sitting in math class and have all of the numbers on the board blur and get a headache so intense I had to leave class. Normally, I would have been a step ahead, solving homework problems during the lesson. Usually, I would have been excited that we were watching a documentary in history class, but now I would grimace, knowing that after watching the screen for only minutes, I would have to leave the room with a splitting headache and a wave of nausea. Even at the lunch table, because of background noise, I couldn\u2019t focus on the person talking. Usually the one to be cracking jokes, it often took me minutes to get a joke or catch up with conversation.<\/p>\n

I just never stopped having symptoms and have been struggling with Post-Concussion Syndrome (PCS) ever since.<\/p>\n

Almost a year after this concussion, it fully hit me that I could not play contact sports anymore.\u00a0I was crushed. Sports were a huge piece of who I was.\u00a0I defined myself as an athlete. Sports were a shared interest I had with family and friends, and my club soccer team was so special to me.\u00a0I lost a group of girls that I loved and a coach to whom I looked up and who had been a mentor to me for several years.\u00a0I had spent probably twenty-five hours a week playing sports.\u00a0I didn\u2019t even know what to do with myself anymore.<\/p>\n

I remember texting with my soccer coach, finally telling him that I definitely could never play again. He said \u201cwe all become fans at some point. You just became one a little earlier.\u201d This was so comforting to me.\u00a0He made it seem so normal and natural, like one door closes and another opens. This conversation gave me closure with soccer and the ability to move on and tackle new things.<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m an athlete, and I can\u2019t play contact sports, and I can\u2019t run. What do I do?\u2019 I remember thinking. My doctor suggested a low impact, non-contact sport; golf fit the bill.\u00a0I had taken one golf lesson in my life (and I was terrible), but many people in my family were passionate golfers so I decided to try, banking on hereditary natural talent.\u00a0I remember my first golf lesson.\u00a0I barely made solid contact with the ball during that hour. Being a beginner at a sport was something I had not experienced since I was four.\u00a0I was so frustrated. But, it was golf or the chess club so I started working hard.\u00a0I went to the driving range after school, embarrassing myself in front of everyone, but I went.\u00a0I took lessons even though it frustrated me that I wasn\u2019t great after just a few lessons.\u00a0I got better and my competitive spirit was back.\u00a0Now, I\u2019m not giving hard hits and sliding in mud on the soccer field, but rather hacking my way out of sandpits in polos at the golf course.\u00a0I can hit a 230-yard drive, though. A change in sport, but once an athlete, always an athlete.<\/p>\n

I started writing for my school newspaper, which I would never have had time to do had I been putting so much time into sports. I was appointed as an editor.\u00a0I became a member of my school\u2019s Disciplinary Committee, and I decided to row crew.\u00a0I totally reinvented myself.<\/p>\n

One of my doctors at Boston Children\u2019s Hospital called me in April of tenth grade, asking me if I would do a live NESN interview with him about concussions and Children\u2019s Brain Injury Center. I immediately said yes, not expecting it to manifest in anything.\u00a0I quickly realized that I could help and that there are a lot of people out there silently soldiering on with PCS who go under the radar for medical care, with friends and family, and at school. I wanted to reach them because I guessed that they had all felt the same losses, disappointment, fear, and isolation that I had.<\/p>\n